My Addiction
by punkin5700
Summary: Hanna Marin has a boyfriend, Caleb Rivers but she can't be with him a day longer because she is addicted to Emily Fields who has a girlfriend Paige. How will she handle all of this confusion? When she turns to alcohol and drugs will she be okay? Crappy Summary but I think it's a start to a great story. Eventually Hannily! Read and Review. Thanks LOVES.
1. Chapter 1

**Hey LOVES this is a new story that I came up with. I don't even know why I'm doing another story because I haven't updated my other stories for a while now. Please don't be mad, I will be updating both of my stories. One day this just came to me so I hope you like it. Don't worry eventually there will be HANNILY because I love them too much. Plus they are very cute. It's going to be sad the first chaps but stick with it. Thanks LOVES**

**Hanna's POV**

_Gosh look at them. It makes me very jealous seeing Paige and Emily whispering and flirting. This is not aw-they-are-so-cute-I-want-that jealously. I'm seriously jealous because I am in love with Emily Fields, my best friend who has a girlfriend. I know it's very confusing especially if I. myself have a boyfriend. I hate this situation, I wish I didn't have feelings for Emily I really do. I'm just setting myself up for my own heartbreak that's if I tell Em. Nobody knows about how I feel towards her which I'm surprised by because I don't hide it very well. I just can't help how I feel towards Emily, it's like I'm addicted to her. I feel a lot of things about the whole issue. I'm jealous because Emily is happy with Paige instead of me. I feel guilty because Caleb is like the sweetest guy ever but I'm just not feeling anything anymore. It's not fair to him, I feel bad. Confused is a big one I'm confused about myself, I mean am I gay? If I am why would I be in love with one of my best friends? That's weird right? Lastly I'm depressed well because I can't have what I want and It's very clear that Emily would never feel the same way. I can barely make it through the day anymore because of Paige and Emily. So when I get home I drown myself in alcohol. Then the next day I ignore my pounding brain, this has been a routine for some time now. I wish I can stop but it just makes forget about everything for a while. I guess have too problems alcohol and my addiction to Emily Fields. Both are taking a big toll on my life, somebody please help me. I'm sitting a lunch with Spencer, Aria and the two love birds. Ugh._

" Have you guys finished that project for Mr. Cruz's class yet?" Spencer asks all of us while drinking some of her juice.

" No, not yet I just have to glue everything on my poster board. I already did all the research." Aria explained.

" Yeah Paige and I finished yesterday." Emily said clinging on to Paige's arm and my blood instantly started to boil. I crossed my arms and leaned on the back of my chair.

" What about you Han? Did you finish?" Aria asked me noticing how quite I was being. Everybody looked at me waiting for my answer.

" Umm yeah I already finished it too." I answered truthfully because I really did finish it with some help from Caleb.

" Wow Hanna Marin actually doing her work, I'm surprised." Paige said and all of them laughed. _I hate Paige._

" Okay you don't the first thing about me, so don't act like you do." I said with a very rude attitude.

" Chill Hanna, she was only kidding." Spencer said to me and put a hand on my shoulder.

" Whatever." I said with a puff and Emily looked at me curiously.

" Are you alright Han?" Emily asked me.

" I'm fine. Now can I not be hot topic of the damn table." I answered back and Emily looked at little hurt. Now I feel bad.

" Well clearly you're not." Paige giggled at little. _I'm so tired of her little sly comments. _

" Well clearly you can't hear correctly, I said I'm fine." I told Paige pissed off and she glared at me so I glared back.

" Hey you two calm down, you guys look like your about to rip each others hair out. This is not smack down what has gotten into you two?" Aria said trying to be peace maker.

" Oh I can totally do more than rip out her hair." I said standing up.

" Please I can totally drag you across the floor." Paige said standing up too.

" Guys I totally agree with Aria just calm down because the will be no kind of fighting going on here." Spencer said.

" Hanna can I talk to you for a second?" Emily said getting up from the table.

" Somebody is in trouble." Paige said I rolled my eyes before following Emily into the hallway.

" Okay, seriously Hanna what is wrong with you?" Emily asked crossing her arms and waiting for my response.

" What is this don't listen Hanna day. For the last time I'm fine." I told her even though there clearly is a problem which is Paige.

" Han I know what you said but you have anger in your eyes. What is up with you and Paige?" Emily said grabbing my hand , I love the way she tries to make me feel better but it's only making things worse for me.

" Well maybe because you're little girlfriend likes to make comments she should keep to herself." I explained to her.

" Han... Paige is just like that you know." Emily said with a shrug.

" No I don't know and to be honest I don't like her, she's a bitch. I don't understand why you are with her." I said and accident but really meant it.

" Don't talk about her like that, you don't even know her that well. For you info I'm with her because she makes me happy." Emily said to me and her words really stung my heart.

" You're right I don't know her that well but I know her well enough not to like her. Paige started with me first can't you see that. Plus she has something that I want." I said back to her. _Can I be more obvious? _

" Hanna I am your best friend I know there is something wrong with. Why can't you just tell?!" Emily said loudly and I jumped when she asked her question.

" I can't tell you." I said closing my eyes shut and leaning against the wall.

" Why not? You can tell me anything." Emily said and something in me just went off.

" Emily you are wrong I can't tell you anything because there are too many complications and you are one of them. I will tell you when I figure if out myself I'm so confused and I have a lot of things going on I can't take it anymore. I have too much on my plate more than I can eat. Just do me a favor just stay away from me until I have everything wrapped up. Okay?" I said tearing up a little.

" Fine I'll stay away but I thought we were better than that Han, talk to me when you stop being an ass and can explain yourself." Emily said storming back into the lunchroom.

I wait a couple of minutes before I went back into the lunch room. When I walked in I saw Emily crying on Paige's shoulder. When Paige saw me she got up and waited for me to arrive back to the table. _Dammit I didn't mean to make her feel worse . _

" What the hell did you say to her?" Paige asked me walking up to me. _Ugh what does she want._

" Mind your own damn business." I said. _If it wasn't for Emily I would totally kick Paige's ass._

" Emily is my business and I need to protect her from anyone that hurts her." Paige said and I laughed.

" Are you joking right now? You don't have to protect Emily from me I'm her best friend and I wouldn't hurt her." I said seriously.

" Then why is she crying then?" Paige said and I looked over and saw Aria and Spencer calming Emily down.

" Whatever. I'm out of here." I grabbed my bag and began to walk away. _This day was not what I expected, I made the girl I was in love with cry._

" Han wait." Aria called after me and grabbed my arm.

" Aria let go I just need to cool off." I said as I yanked my arm from her and bolted out of the cafeteria. I just had to get out of there so I drove home and skipped the rest of day. When I got home I went up to my room, turn on my music and drank the whiskey I keep under my bed but not enough to get drunk. I was glad my mom wasn't how because I don't need anymore drama right now. I fell on my bed and looked at the ceiling until I got a text from Spencer saying her and Aria were on the way to my house.

* * *

><p><strong>Spencer's POV<strong>

I had no idea bringing up the topic of our project would have Hanna and Paige ready to pull out their gloves to fight, Emily in tears. I was really confused on what was going on between Paige and Hanna. I mean there is something behind that argument if you ask me. At first I got why Hanna was a little mad with Paige joking around with her. After that it went down hill from there they looked like they wanted to bust each others skull open. I have never seen Hanna get so mad over something so little. I wonder what is wrong with her, I guess Aria and I are about to find out because we are on the way to her house.

" So what do you really think that was at lunch?" I asked Aria who was driving.

" I don't know I'm just worried about Hanna and Emily." Aria said shrugging and not taking her eyes off the road.

" Yeah that's what I'm talking about not Paige and Emily but Em and Hanna." I explained to her.

" Oh I don't know about that either, but I thought Hanna would be the last person to make Em cry." Aria said looking over at me.

" I did too. I wonder what Hanna said to her and why Paige kept on making comments about Hanna." I told her and she nodded her head side ways.

" Well I guess we are about to find out." Aria said pulling into Hanna's driveway looks like her mom isn't home. We got out the car and made our way to the door and when we got their Aria just barged in.

" Hanna." Aria called out. Then we heard fumbling and bumping upstairs.

" I'm up here." Hanna yelled and we headed upstairs to her room. The door was ajar so I opened it slowly and we saw Hanna sitting on the edge of her bed with her head down.

" Hanna, what is going on with you?" I asked her and she looked up at us and sunk her head down again.

" Han are you okay?" Aria asked taking a seat next to her and began rubbing circles on her back.

" I'm really don't know the answer to either one of those questions." She sighed heavily and lifted her head.

" I never seen you like this, tell us and we can help you." I explained to her and sat on the other side of her, grabbed her hand and gave her a reassuring squeeze.

" It's not that easy guys, I can't tell. I don't even know how to tell you if I wanted to." She explained to us.

" Han, whatever it is you can tell us we're your best friends." Aria told her and Hanna let out a small laugh then frowned.

" That's exactly what Emily said." Hanna said and put her head down again. I looked at Aria and she shrugged at me.

" Why was she crying at lunch?" I asked trying to slowly get answers for her.

" Because I'm stupid, so stupid I can't figure anything out for myself. Guilt, confusion, jealously and depression is eating me from inside out." Hanna said getting up from the bed and she began pacing back and fourth with her head in her hands.

" Hanna seriously what is wrong with you? Just tell us we want to help you through this." Aria said trying to calm her down.

" Okay I have an uh addiction." She said as she stopped pacing around her room.

" Like drugs and alcohol?" I asked because Hanna has done that stuff in the past but it was never really an issue.

" Well alcohol but there is something else." Hanna said brushing her hand through her hair.

" Like what?" Aria questioned trying to think of anything else that could cause Hanna's problem.

" When I say something I mean someone. Come on think because I really don't want to say it out loud. Aria and I sat and thought for about two minutes until it hit me right in the face.

" Hanna do you...like Emily as like more than a friend?" I asked her and she didn't respond.

" Oh my god. Is that true Han?" Aria asked with a smirk on her face.

" Yes it's true but instead of like try love." Hanna smiled.

" Aww Hanna loves Emily. Now that I think about it you were so obvious and we were so oblivious." I giggled.

" Yea so I guess this explains lunch today with Paige and Emily crying." Aria stated.

" I was really pissed off today." Hanna sighed and sat in her desk chair.

" Why was Em crying? What you were talking about?" I asked.

" That was my fault I called Paige a bitch. Em asked what was wrong with me I told her I had too much going on and I told her to stay away from me until I figure it out. Then she got mad, called me an ass and went back into the cafeteria." Hanna explained to us.

" Why would you tell her to stay away if you love her?" Aria asked standing up from Hanna's bed and walking to a picture of Hanna and Emily.

" Because it's too much She has a girlfriend and I have a boyfriend that cares about me a lot. I can't do that to him and if I did break up with him I doubt Emily will come running in my arms. I'm so confused I just want to make this all go away." Hanna said and she look at us and a single tear roll down her face.

" I'm sorry Hanna but you obviously can't get rid of this you Have to tell Caleb and most importantly tell Emily how you feel." I said walking of to her and wiped her tear away from her face.

" It's not that easy Spence, if I tell Caleb he will get heart broken. If I tell Emily and she doesn't feel the same It'll ruin our friendship. Oh, not to mention her guard dog I mean girlfriend would totally be on my ass but I'm not worried about that part." Hanna said as she sighed loudly.

" Hanna it's not fair for you to be unhappy in a relationship that you don't want to be in. I highly doubt Emily would do that to you if she didn't feel the same way you guys would still be friends." Aria said and I took Hanna's hand and stood her up.

" Aria is right I think you should go talk to Emily. Not about being in love with her and stuff just apologize to her." I said with a smile.

" Yeah I should, I'll go right now. Thanks, I love you guys." Hanna said as she put on her shoes and jacket.

" No problem Han just know we will always be here for you. So if something is really bothering just tell us because we don't want you doing anything dumb." Aria said as she hugged Hanna.

" Yeah when ever you want to talk about this again we are just a phone call away." I said a got my own hug from her.

" Thanks again guys and don't mention this to Em." Hanna told us.

" We wouldn't do that to you." Aria and I said in unison then laughed.

" Okay let's head out." Hanna says as she turns her lights off and headed down stairs and we followed. She locked her front door and we bid our goodbyes.

* * *

><p><strong>Paige's POV<strong>

Today was not what I had in mind. Emily is so kind and sweet to everybody especially her friends. Hanna made her cry today at lunch and from what I heard Emily just wanted to help Hanna with whatever she is going through. Just as I stated to get along with Emily's friends not I have an issue with Hanna for making Em cry today. Something tells me Hanna never really liked me like the way she acts around me. Hanna always has this rude attitude around me but I can't put everything on her it's me too because I don't like her that much. It's like when ever we're in the same room together we bump heads but today was different I felt like Hanna was going to hit me and we would start fighting. I guess we'll see what happens in the future. Em and I are at her house but I had somewhere to be.

" I can't believe Hanna would do that to me I was only trying to help." Emily said as we cuddled on her couch watching TV.

" Yeah me neither I can't believe she called me a bitch when she is the bitch." I said to her and rubbed my hand up and down her arm.

" Hey don't call her that she is still my best friend." Emily said sitting up.

" I'm sorry em." I told her.

" You're not the one that should be apologizing to me." Emily sighed.

" Did Hanna say anything that was bothering her." I asked her.

" All she said was she has too much on her plate and I was one of those complications she has going on. When I asked her about you she said you have something she wants. Do you know what she is talking about?" Emily asked me. What do I have that Hanna wants? She has everything she needs.

" No, I have no clue what she is talking about." I answered honestly.

" Well if she wants me to stay away from her I will." Emily said getting worked up.

" Yeah you don't need her when she is acting like a bad friend." I said to her it's true if Hanna is being rude she doesn't deserve Emily's help.

" It's fine if she pushes me away she'll just come crawling back." Emily laughed but I could tell she was upset.

" Em it's going to be okay but I have to go now." I said and gave her a kiss on her forehead.

" Where are you going?" She asked me.

" Uh my mom wanted me back uh early." I lied.

" Okay see you later." She hugged me and I headed out the door. When turned around I saw Hanna walking up Emily's pathway.

" What are you doing here?" I asked her and crossed my arms.

" I came to talk to Emily." She told me.

" Why? You know right don't answer that Emily was right." I said with a giggle.

" What did she say?" She asked curiously.

" Oh nothing why don't you find out yourself." I said as I walked passed her.

" Paige wait." Hanna called after me.

" What?" I asked.

" I'm sorry for acting like a jerk I j-" Hanna was saying until I cut her off.

" Just have a lot going on, yeah I know but you should be apologize to Emily. I'm sorry too by the way." I said to her.

" Okay catch you later." She said as she walked up to Emily's house.

* * *

><p><strong>Emily's POV<strong>

After Paige left out the door there was a knock at the door. Assuming Paige had left something I opened the door for her. To my surprise it was Hanna.

" Hey Em, can I come in?" She asked with her hand in her back pockets.

" What are you doing here Hanna? You know what just leave." I said as I was closing the door but she stopped it from slamming in her face.

" I just came to talk to you and apologize." She said looking and my eyes and made a cute little pout face. Who can say no to that face?

" Fine come in." I said as I moved aside so she could walk in my house.

" Before you say anything I already apologize to Paige when she was on her way out." She said as she sat down on my couch and patted the spot next to her.

" Okay that's good but I don't understand why you here. Didn't you tell me to stay away from you and look at you crawling back." I said still pretty anger at her but I need to hear her out on what she has to say.

" I know what I said and it was stupid Em, I'm sorry I didn't mean it." Hanna said as she grabbed my hand.

" I'm sorry too for trying to push you to tell me what's wrong with you. It's your business, but I'm just worried about you Han" I said as I squeezed her hand to let her know I was worried about her.

" You don't have to say sorry for anything, I was the one being a jerk. You were just trying to help me with my issues." She said and she looked down.

" You're right I am here to help you Hanna. So what do you have going on since it's too much?" I asked her.

" It's kind of hard to explain." She laughed. I had no idea why she was laughing if something is wrong with her.

" Well at least give me some hints. Is this about Caleb?" I asked and as soon as I said his name she stiffened up.

" He is part of it, like I said it's hard to explain. I can't give you hints either or you'll know exactly what my problem is." She sighed heavily.

" Who else is a part of it? Am I apart of it?" I started to ask questions that I thought that could be useful for this situation.

" W-why would you be a part of it?" She stuttered out and remove her hand from mine. All of a sudden she seemed nervous, maybe I'm on to something here.

" Today you said that I was one of your complications. Is that true?" I asked her tilting my head, batted my eyelashes and poking my lower lip out a little.

" Well since I can't lie to that face yes, you're a part of it." She said honestly and smiled at me.

" What did I do? I'm sorry Hanna for whatever I did." I apologized to her and she laughed.

" Emily you didn't do anything wrong. It's just... I can't tell you." She said as she grabbed my hand.

" I think if I'm a part of your problems I deserve to know so I can help you." I explained to her.

" I'm to only one who can fix this Em, I have to figure this out before I can tell you. Can you just trust me on this one?" She said to me.

" Fine, I trust that you understand you'll tell me. So I didn't do anything wrong? Like I borrowed something and didn't give it back or something else?" I was being serious because the last thing I would ever want to do is do something bad to someone and not know about it.

" I promise you didn't to anything. You're perfect Em I hope you know that." Hanna said as she looked away then looked at me and smiled her wonderful smile that I love.

" You think I'm perfect?" I asked blushing and looked down our tangled hands.

" No I don't think I know and you should to. Let's see your sweet, funny, athletic and absolutely beautiful." She explained to me as she smiled like crazy but never made eye contact with me.

" Well thank you and I guess you're alright." I thanked her and we laughed.

" So am I forgiven?" She asked with a grin on her face and her eyebrows raised.

" You're more than forgiven if you promise to tell me what's wrong with you when you sort things out." I told her trying to make a deal.

" I promise you'll be the first to know. I love you Em thanks for being here for me." She said as she rubbed my hand with her thumb. I love when she use to do that before Paige came along. Now that I think about it we haven't been this close since then.

" I love you too." I said as I pulled her into a tight hug and when we let go she kissed my cheek and I blushed.

" I should get going. I'll see you tomorrow." She said getting up from the couch.

" Or you could stay here with me for tonight." I said with a smile.

" I'd liked that a lot." She said as she returned the smile.

I'm glad Hanna and I worked things out because I don't like anyone of my friend mad at me or doesn't want to talk to me. I'm happy that she came over now we can hang out that was long over due. That's probably why Hanna was acting like that at lunch today, she is jealous of Paige because I don't spend as much time with her as I use to. That's exactly it Hanna is scared that she'll lose me because of Paige.

**Tell me what you think don't worry about my other stories I'm already working on them too. All you have to do is drop a review and tell me what you thought. Thanks LOVES!**


	2. Letting it out

OMG.** I'm so glad you guys liked the first chapter. I know it's a little sad right now but it will get better in a good and bad way. A lot of drama is going to start making it's way in the story. Anyway thanks for everyone that Followed, Favorited and Reviewed. I love getting the positive reviews. Thanks again LOVES!**

**_I do not own any of the characters and etc. from Pretty Little Liars._  
><strong>

**Emily's POV**

I'm really glad Hanna is staying over, she hasn't been her happy, bubbly self lately. I trust her that she is going to tell me what's wrong with her because she promised but I just can't stop thinking about the situation. I feel like I'm the problem I mean she is distant with me. I guess the distance part is probably because of Paige but we should still find time to hang out. I don't even remember the last time Hanna and I have been alone, just her and I. She doesn't even hold my hand, cuddle with me or hug me anymore. I don't know what it is but I want to fix it because I don't want to lose my best friend. Everything is good with Paige so I'm pretty happy but I wouldn't be happy if Hanna, the person I care for and trust the most had a problem with me. Speaking of Paige that was kind of weird how she left my house earlier I guess I'll talk to her about it later. I just want to take this night and enjoy it with my best friend. Which is what I'm planning on doing.

" So since you wanted me to stay here what are we going to do?" Hanna asked. that was a stupid question. Classic Hanna.

" What we always do silly. You haven't been over my house in so long you forgot what we do. What's up with that?" I asked her with my eyebrows raised.

" I-I just have been b-busy you know and I didn't forget." Hanna stuttered out she only does that why she is nervous. Why is she nervous?

" Come on Hanna do you think I didn't notice how we've been lately." I told her standing up from the couch to put her shoes by the door.

" Who is we? What have we been like?" She asked using air quotes on the word 'we'.

" Hanna don't play games. I'm talking about you and I." I said sitting back on the couch criss-cross applesauce.

" Okay what about us?" She sighed and leaned back on the couch to get comfortable.

" Well we haven't been as close as we use to. Do you even remember the last time we hung out?" I asked her and she looked at me.

" I don't know just forget about it Em, we're hanging out now." She told me and she got up and headed to the kitchen. I followed her.

" I guess you're right but I want us to be like how we were before." I told her and she laughed at little.

" How were we before?" She asked.

" We were the closest out of the four of us. Always together or talking on the phone, I miss that. What happened to us?" I asked her.

" Em I miss that too but you should be asking yourself that question. I mean ever since you started going out with Pai-..." she was saying but I cut her off.

" So I was right." I said.

" Right about what?" She asked me as she sat on my kitchen counter.

" You're jealous of Paige aren't you?" I asked her and her eyes widened.

" Uh." Was all she let out that's what let me know it was true.

" I've just been hanging out with Paige lately and never make time for you anymore. Plus that would explain lunch today. Aw does Hanna miss her friend?" I said teasing her.

" Yeah just missed my _friend._" She sighed and got off the counter to get some juice from the fridge.

" So want to watch a movie up in my room?" I offered her.

" Yeah let's go." She said as headed up the stairs. I turned off the kitchen lights and locked the front door then made my way up stairs to find Hanna laying on my bed staring at the ceiling.

" What ya thinking about?" I asked her while I leaned against the door frame.

" Everything is just so fucked up." She said in a sad tone.

" I'm sorry Han, I know something that will cheer you up." I told her. Before she had time to answer I jump on the bed and straddled her waist then started tickling her.

" S-stop E-em stop." She squealed and began rolled around trying to get me to stop tickling her. I was still tickling her Hanna moved her knee which caused me to fall straight on top of her. We were face to face both us looking each other in the eyes, I love her eyes they're so pretty. She looked away and smiled, I love her smile too because of her cute dimples and her lips... Lips? What? No don't think like that Em she is your best friend who has a boyfriend and I have a girl friend. I quickly got off of her.

" Sorry." I said looking at the ground then up at her and she was still smiling.

" It's fine Em." She said then got of the bed with a little blush on her cheeks.

" Okay so should we just watch TV or..." I trailed on.

" Or we could watch that movie you were talking about earlier." She suggested.

" Oh yeah you can pick." I told her and she made her way over to my variety of movies.

" Umm let's see... OMG LION KING!" She shouted out of excitement. I smiled at her.

" You must like that movie. Want to watch it?" I asked her already knowing her answer

" Are you kidding? I love this movie so we are definitely watching it." She said with a big smile then got up to put it in.

"Well are you coming or not?" I patted the space next to me because she was just was standing there like she was lost.

" I was just stretching." She said pretending to stretch.

" Get in bed with me so we can cuddle." I said with a smile.

" O-okay." She stuttered out. _Why is she acting weird?_

Hanna made her way over to my bed then got under the blanket but she was nowhere near me. I moved closer to her and she looked at me I gave her a small smile she smiled back faintly. I really don't know why Hanna is acting like this it's like she is scared to touch me. She is acting like I have a disease or something. I want to cuddle with her so I took her right arm then pulled it over my shoulder and laid my head on her shoulder. She look down at me and smiled I returned the smile. Hanna sighed heavily then leaned down and kissed my forehead. Now this is more like it, I feel like I have my best friend back. We continued to watch the movie, Hanna really does love this movie. Every time the movie would sing a song she knew all the words, she would laugh at the funny parts and tear up on the sad ones. Instead of watching the movie I found myself watching her she would glance at me every once in a while and smile then I would quickly look away so I didn't get caught. The movie finished and I was starting to get all little hungry.

" Are you hungry? Never mind of course you're hungry." I said getting up from the bed to stretch.

" Yeah I am pretty hungry I haven't eaten since lunch, even then I really didn't eat." Hanna said as she stretched also.

" So what do you wan to do order takeout or eat a sandwich or something?" I asked her and she laughed.

" Definitely takeout. Chinese or Pizza?" she asked me while sitting back on the bed.

" Pizza, and I want meat lovers even though it's not good for me. After eating I'd have to run all over rosewood to lose the weight." I said as a joke and laughed and she joined.

" Please Em your body is perfect." Hanna said leaning back on her two arms and looked me up and down. _Is she checking me out? _

" Thanks, you're not so bad yourself. Anyway you go head and order that because I have to use the bathroom." I said to her then quickly made my way into my bathroom. I finished then made my way back into the room and Hanna was just getting of the phone from ordering our pizza.

" You know Em I'm really glad I stayed here, with you." Hanna admitted to me with a grin.

" So am I, we should do this more often like we used to." I said to her with a smile.

" Yeah, I've missed you. I'm sorry for acting like an ass and making you cry earlier." She said looking down at her hands.

" It's fine Hanna and besides you already apologized when you got here." I said walking over to her and lifting her chin up.

" I know but I shouldn't have made you cry, I don't like seeing you cry. Beautiful people don't deserve to cry." She explained to me and she took my hand in hers. I sat on the bed facing her.

" Hanna it's okay. You think I beautiful? I asked her.

" Yeah you're a lot of things Em." she smiled and rubbed the back of my thumb.

" Really? Enlighten me." I smiled at her and motioned for her to continue.

" Well let's see... you are beautiful, smart, funny, athletic, caring, a great best friend. You're just perfect." She said to me and I started blushing.

" Thanks, but I'm not perfect. If anything you are." I said honestly and she shook head.

" I'm not perfect Em... I don't know what I am." She said in sad tone and ducked her down.

" Are you kidding me? You are Hanna Marin the most beautiful, sweetest, protective, confident and funniest person I know. To me you are the best friend anyone could have." I said with a smile she looked a me gave a small smile then looked down again.

" Thank you but that is not what I meant. I don't know what I am." She said letting go of my hand.

" What do you mean?" I asked her with an a confused expression.

" I don't know what I am, like I've been having certain feelings for someone other than Caleb." She said looking down at the floor.

" What? How does that have to do with what you are." I asked even more confused. Hanna is in love with Caleb the last time I checked.

" It's not a person I would usually like. I like a... g-girl." She said to me and my eyes went wide.

" You're gay since when? The last time I checked you have a boyfriend who you are in love with Caleb." I said shocked by the words that came out of Hanna's mouth.

" I'm just as confused as you are but that's not even the bad part." She sighed and laid back on the bed looking at the ceiling.

" Is this what is bothering you? Who is she?" I asked.

" Yeah but this is not the whole story I told you I would tell once I have figured it out. I can't tell who she is anyway." She said with her eyes closed.

" Why not ? Do I know her?" I asked.

" Yeah you know her but what's the point in telling you." She sighed and rested her hand on her stomach.

" I'm you best friend Hanna you could tell me." I said putting my hand on her thigh.

" I'm not telling you Em but if you pay attention the signs are brighter than the sun." She laughed.

" What do you mean b-..." I was saying until I was cut off by the door bell.

" Pizza's here!" Hanna shouted and dashed out the room to go downstairs.

This has been a hell of a day my best friend basically told me she was gay. I can't believe it Hanna Marin has been boy crazy ever since we were in middle school now she is telling me she likes a girl. I don't know why she won't tell who she is. How the hell am I supposed to look for signs when I don't know who she is? I guess I won't push this far because she has a lot going on herself. I need to respect her choice on not telling me because she'll tell me when she is ready. In the mean time I will be looking for these so-called "signs" she told me about. I didn't question Hanna the rest of the night we ate then went straight to bed because it was a school night. I can't get what she told me out of my mind.

* * *

><p><strong>Aria's POV<strong>

I feel so bad for Hanna with everything she has going on. I'm glad she is strong but anyone can tell she is hurting well except for Emily. I wish I could help Hanna but what am I going to do? Hanna has to figure this out by herself and if she needs help she has Spencer and I right by her side. I can't believe we didn't see this coming I mean all the signs if you look back she wasn't even trying to hide them well. I wish everything that's in Hanna's way could disappear for her own good. That wouldn't be right though because from the looks of things Emily is happy with Paige. I'm surprised Emily hasn't noticed how Hanna has been acting, she literally flirts with her all the time. I guess Em thinks Hanna is just being " friendly", but Emily is a smart girl who should know when somebody is flirting with her or not. I don't even know how Hanna is dealing with this because I'm going crazy thinking about this. I hope Hanna and Emily made up last night because I hate seeing my friends fight because they are going to make Spencer and I choose sides or whatever. Speaking of Spencer and I we are at lunch waiting for them. The lunchroom doors open in walks Emily and Hanna with their arms looped together. I look at Spencer and her eyebrow is raised a little I knew what she was thinking. They reached the table and greeted us.

" Hey, looks like you two made up." I said with a slight smirk.

" Yeah, we are all good. Right Han?" She asked Hanna as they took their seat across from us.

" We are great." She smiled at us then at Emily.

" Good because I hate to see you guys fight." Spencer said.

" Yeah me too." Emily said.

" Me three." I chirped and they laughed at me.

" Hanna do they know?" Emily asked Hanna while pointing at us.

" Know what?" Spencer asked.

" About Hanna having a crush on this mysterious girl she won't tell me about." Emily said and our eyes widen.

" What? Hanna you like a girl?" I asked pretending to be shocked. I knew who exactly the girl was.

" Yeah I do, I think I'm going to talk with Caleb soon." Hanna said hinting at us not to make such a big deal out of this since we already knew about it.

" I think that is best, you guys had a good run though." Spencer said while taking a sip of her water. We had already gotten out lunch.

" Yeah. Are you guys going to get your lunch or starve?" I asked them and nudged Hanna's leg to let her know to stay at the table as Emily went to get her lunch. Emily stood up waiting for Hanna to come with her.

" Hanna are you coming?" Emily asked her.

" Yeah just give me a minute." Hanna said with a smile.

" Okay hurry up, I don't want to go through the line myself." Emily returned the smile the walked away from the table. We waited until she was far enough from the table to talk to Hanna.

" Hanna why the hell did you tell her you liked a girl?" Spencer asked

" It's not like I lied or anything plus she was asking all these questions." Hanna shrugged.

" If you told her you liked a girl you mind as well told her the girl was her." I said looking at her.

" You know I can't do that Aria." She said sitting up in her chair.

" We know but you are just making this worse for yourself Hanna." Spencer said.

" I can handle it, I'm just taking things one step at a time." Hanna said rubbing her temples because she realized what Spencer said was true.

" Hanna I know this is frustrating but you have to just take a deep breath. Everything will be okay." I said and gave her hand a tight squeeze.

" I hope so everything in just messed up. How am I supposed to tell my best friend that I'm in love with her?" Hanna said with a sigh.

" Woah I thought you liked this girl not love her." Emily said catching the end of what Hanna said. We all we caught of guard because we didn't even see or hear her come back to the table. Hanna didn't know what to say she just looked between Spencer and I for help. Spencer pulled out her phone at first I thought she was not going to help Hanna but instead she saved her.

" Hanna was um was just talking about this cute puppy I saw on Twitter." Spencer said showing her phone to Emily. The screen had a cute little Siberian Husky that had pretty blue eyes. Hanna let out a sigh of relief and mouthed 'thank you' to Spencer. Spencer winked at her saying she was welcome.

" Aww that is cute her eyes remind me of Hanna's eyes, they are so pretty." Emily said giving Spencer phone back to her and smiled at Hanna who blushed immediately. If Emily didn't have Paige I would say she was flirting with Hanna.

" Yeah that is totally why I am in love with this dog." Hanna smiled widely.

" It is pretty cute. Hanna aren't you going to go get your food?" I asked

" Oh yeah, I will be right back." Hanna said getting out of her seat heading to the lunch line.

We chatted as Hanna was in the line until she came back we ate and laughed. Then we Saw Caleb coming our way.

* * *

><p><strong>Caleb's POV <strong>

Hanna has been acting weird lately. She barely calls or texts me anymore. I don't know what happened to us one day we a having a good time then the next day I didn't even see or hear from her. Something happened that day and I tend to find out what it is. Hanna just looks miserable now and days. I'm sure it has nothing to do with us but she is distant with me lately. I can't even recall the last time we had a date. Maybe she is going through something at home I don't know. Hanna doesn't even hang out with her friends that much either. She doesn't even hang out with Emily and that's weird because they are really two peas in a pod. The only time I really get to see her is when she comes over to drink and that one time I helped her with a project. I just want Hanna to be happy again I leave. I'm going to California to stay with my mom and family. It's going to be hard to leave her because she will look how she looks now... depressed. I have to help her with whatever she is going through before I leave, I just owe it to her. That's why I'm going to confront her today and ask if we could talk. I walk into the lunchroom and find Hanna laughing with her friends. Well at least she is smiling that's a good sign. They all turn and look at me as I made my way to their table.

" Hey guys." I greeted all of them and say at the table.

" Oh hey Caleb." Spencer said with a slight smile.

" How have yo guys been?" I asked them.

" Great." Aria said. I noticed Hanna was being quiet.

" Good, how have you been?" Emily asked awkwardly. Everyone was being weird with their glances to each other.

" I could better you know. What about you Han?" I asked her directly.

" I'm good, same old same old. She smiled but I could tell she was lying.

" Yeah about that, can I talk to you in the hall real quick?" I asked her.

" Sure. I'll guys right back guys." She told the girls then followed me out the door.

" Hanna what is going on with you?" I asked her she looked away and sighed softly.

" There is nothing going of Caleb." She answered putting her hands in her pockets.

" Don't give me that bull Hanna, I noticed what has been going on lately." I told her as I crossed my arms.

" I've just had a lot going on but it's okay now." She said to me as she shrugged.

" Is that why we haven't really talked or hung out lately?" I asked her and she looked up at me.

" Caleb..." She trailed on.

" What Hanna?" I asked her.

" I've just been busy you know." She run her hand through her hair.

" I just feel like the only time I see you is when you come over and drink some beer or whiskey." I said with an angry tone.

" I know it seems that way but it's not Caleb." She defended herself.

" Then what is it like because I really want to know." I told her and she looked away and shook her head.

" Silence that is all I'm getting from you lately." I told her and began walking away.

" Caleb wait" she called for me so I turned around to face her.

" Unless you are asking me to come over and hang with you I don't want to hear it Hanna." I told her.

" Okay." She said to me.

" What?" I asked her.

" Okay come over my house later." She told me and I smiled at her.

" I'll text you when I'm coming over." I told her as I hugged and kissed her on the cheek. She stiffened as I touched her but I ignored it.

" Okay see you later." She said as I let go of her. She grinned faintly then she walked back into the lunchroom.

I'm excited I finally get to spend time with her but a little sad because I'm going to tell her I'm leaving in a few days. I hope this goes well.

**Hanna's POV**

The conversation I just had with Caleb because it's hard to face him knowing that he is in love with me when I'm in love with Emily. I don't know how I'm going to survive when he comes over because I have to tell him how I feel. I don't want to kept leading him on it's not fair. I still love him I'm just not in love with him. I hope he takes this well because even if I don't get to be with Emily I want Caleb and I to be friends. This is probably going to be the hardest thing I have ever had to do. At least it is what's best for me to let this guilty feeling vanish for good. It is going to be challenging looking him in his face and telling him everything. It's going to break his heart and I feel bad about that but I just can't do it anymore. Like they say the heart wants what the heart wants, in my cause my heart want Emily. I fell like I'm hanging on the edge of the tallest mountain and no one is there to save me. I guess this is what I get for being in love with my best friend and having to break up with my boyfriend. This sucks. I walk back into the lunchroom and sink in my seat.

" How did it go?" Spencer asked me.

" He is coming over tonight. I'm going to tell him about you know." I said a little more to Aria and Spencer than Emily.

" Are you sure?" Aria asked me.

" Yeah it's better this way, well better for me but I still feel bad." I told them.

" I'm sorry Han this must be hard." Emily said rubbing my back in a gentle manner.

" Harder than you think Em." I said and Spencer and Aria gave me a look like ' what are you doing'. I just shrugged.

" How do you think he is going to take it?" Spencer asked me.

" I don't know hopefully be will take it well. I don't want him to get mad or anything.

" You have to do this for you Han." Emily said to me still rubbing my back trying to calm me down.

" Yeah I know can we not talk about Caleb anymore." I said as I covered my face with my hands.

" Yeah just know we are her for you Han." Aria said to me and I smiled at her.

" Thanks guys." I told them.

" No problem." The said in unison then we all giggled. We got interrupted by my not so favorite person Paige.

" Hey guys. Hey Em." She treated us with a slight wave and kissed Emily which made my blood boil.

" Hi." Spencer and Aria said. I just nodded my head in her direction.

" Hanna can I take your seat to sit next to Emily, you could sit by Aria." Paige said. I knew I had no choice but to move because how would that look if I say no and didn't move.

" Uh yeah sure." I said getting up from the seat then sat next to Aria.

" I've missed you. Where were you last night?" Emily asked and I rolled my eyes.

" Uh I told my m-mom wanted me home early." Paige said. _She is a liar everybody uses that excuse. Tell me Emily is not going to buy this bullshit.__  
><em>

" Oh you did tell me that last night. Forget I asked." Emily smiled and Paige scooted closer to her. _Ugh this is so frustrating to watch._

" So Paige how have you been?" Spencer asked just to make conversation because she know I was in an awkward situation.

" I've been good. How are you guys?" Paige asked moving her hair to the side and I saw a purplish mark under Paige's earlobe. _Holy hell that is a Hickey! It can't be from Emily because I was with her last night. Paige is cheating on Emily! I swear I'm going to beat her ass!_

" We've been good." Aria answered and I tugged on her jacket. Paige and Emily we too bust flirting so I showed her what I saw.

" Aria that is a hickey on Paige's neck!" I whisper yelled bit not so loud.

" Oh my gosh Hanna you are right!" Aria whisper yelled then she tapped Spencer and told her she was shocked.

" Uh we are going to go to the bathroom." I said quickly getting up and Aria and Spencer were following me. We finally got to the bathroom and I checked to see off anyone was in there. Gladly there wasn't.

" I totally saw that. Paige is cheating on Emily." Spencer said.

" Yeah the whole fucking world could see that thing except for Emily." I said in an angry tone.

" What are we going to do guys?" Aria asked with a sigh because she knows this will break Emily's heart.

" What do you mean what are we going to do? Now that I have a reason to beat that bitch's ass I'm going to." I said clenching on to the bathroom sink looking in the mirror.

" Hanna we can't just do that we have to tell Emily first." Spencer said.

" No we have to confront Paige first." Aria said.

" I can't believe this why would Paige do this? Is she that dumb not realizing she has the best girlfriend in the world right in front of her? This is way worse than her trying to drown her! I can't do this we have to tell Emily right now!" I said walking back and forth with my hand bawled into a fist.

" Hanna we are just as mad as you are but we can't right now." Spencer said taking a whole on my shoulders to get me to stop.

" Spencer I just can't go back in there acting like I didn't see what I saw, especially since I'm in love with Emily. I can't sit there watching them and know what Paige has done." I said rubbing my temples. I already have to tell Caleb now I have this on my mind.

" Hanna you need to cool off stay in here until you do we are going back in there. We will talk about this later." Aria said and her and Spencer left. I stayed in there for like five minutes and I splashed cold water on my face then headed back to the cafeteria.

I sat back down next to Aria who have me a look and I held my hands up. I was so glad lunch was about to be over I just want to scratch my eyes out just watching Emily and Paige. I can not wait to get my hands on Paige. The bell rung to go to class I rushed to my class because I just want this day to be over. Oh I almost forgot I have a flask in my bag, I got in class before everyone else including the teacher so I took a long sip that burned my throat. Damn this is some strong stuff but it makes me feel a little bit better. Class had started I just sat there trying not to think about Paige and trying to figure out what I'm going to say to Caleb. It was finally time to go home I got in my car and went straight home. My mom wasn't going to bed home until late so got some of her wine to help me with what I'm about to tell Caleb. I waited for like two hours for him to call like he said. My phone rang it was him and he told me he was on his way over. I went to brush my teeth so he wouldn't smell the alcohol that was on my breath. In less then 15 minutes he arrived at my door. I opened it and he greeted me with a hug. We went into the livingroom to watch a movie. I sat down on the couch away from him But he scooted closer to me. I looked at him and he smiled at me causing me to smile. I really love him but I'm in love with Emily. He put his arm around me and rubbed my arm. I starting thinking of Emily how her and I cuddle then how Caleb and I cuddle. I know it's wrong to compare them but I have to make sure of what I want. Even though I can't have her I want Emily. I looked at him again and he was already looking at me. He pulled me closer and was staring straight in my eyes then my lips, I knew were this was heading so before he could kiss me I pulled away.

" What the hell Hanna?" He asked me.

" I can't do is more I'm sorry Caleb." I told him.

" Can't do what Hanna?" He asked looking at me confused.

" Us Caleb, I can't do us anymore." I said with my voice cracking a little because I was about to cry.

" Hanna are you breaking up with me?" He asked and I could see that he was tearing up also.

" Yeah but it has nothing to but it has nothing to do with you it's me." I said with tears streaming down my face.

" You sound like the people on the movies Hanna." He said letting a single tear roll down his cheek.

" Caleb it really is me I'm just confused about who I am. I'm sorry but I have to do this." I said wiping my wet face.

" Is there someone else?" He asked.

" I didn't cheat on you but yes." I said sniffling.

" Who is he?" Caleb asked putting his hand on his face.

" It is not a he, it's Emily." I said with my eyes closed tight.

" What? So you are gay now?" He asked with a very shocked and confused expression on his face.

" I don't know what I am, all I know is that I'm in love with her." I said but quickly regretted it because the look on Caleb's face.

" Wow since we are sharing I have to tell you something to." He said standing up and taking a deep breath.

" Are you gay too?" I asked jokingly trying to lighten the mood it worked because he let out a small laugh.

" No, but since you made it easier to say this, I came here to tell you I'm leaving." He said a my heart drop.

" What? Why are you leaving? Are you leaving because of me?" I asked him tearing up again.

" No Hanna, I'm leaving because I'm going to California to stay with my mom and family. That's what I was going to tell you tonight. I just wanted to spend a little time with you before I leave in a couple of days." He told me and he was happy and sad I could tell by his eyes.

" Well I'm happy for you Caleb." I told him.

" Thanks Hanna, I should get going. I hope you can work out with Emily." He said to me. He is so sweet even though he just got his heartbroken he is wishing me the best.

" Thank you Caleb. I'm sorry about all of this, I hope when you are in Cali you find a way better girlfriend than I was." I said looking down at my feet.

" Hanna don't do that you are the best girlfriend anyone can have. I love you okay never forget that." He told me lifting my chin so I could meet his eyes.

" Caleb I will always love you. Thank you for understanding this, it was really hard for me to tell you this." I said pulling in to a tight hug that lasted for a while.

" No problem, goodbye Hanna Call me if you need anything."He said then kissed my forehead and left.

I am glad everything went well with Caleb but I am going to miss him so much. At Least I have one less problem to deal with and I won't feel guilty anymore. I don't know what I am going to do know but I need Emily. Paige has another thing coming for her if she thinks she can get away with this. After today I think I need a nice long bath and a good night sleep. Tomorrow is going to be stressful figuring out with the help of Spencer and Aria about Paige.

**That is it guys this is a pretty long chap hope you like it. It was hard breaking up Haleb I love them but it was for the best. Sorry I haven't written in a while . Anyway hope you guys like it sorry if there are any mistakes in here. Review, follow and favorite thanks Loves!**


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